It is not easy to grow up without knowing who your father is or, even worse, to have his photograph and never meet him in person. Many people decide to look for their father when they are adults, and when they find them they use a home paternity test to prove that they are their children. Some men agree to take such tests because they have no legal validity. Even if the result is positive, the father will not be obliged to look after his children. But what happens when that man doesn’t want to be involved with his children? Unfortunately, some people make decisions without understanding that they are destroying the lives of others. If you are in this situation, try to deal with reality first. It is not easy and takes time, but it is worth the effort. Once a person understands that their biological father will no longer be part of their life, it is much simpler to develop loving relationships with other people.
Three things you must not do
If your father has decided not to be a part of your life, you should avoid making these three mistakes. The first mistake is to think you are to blame for your father’s absence. Each person is responsible for their own actions and cannot blame others for what they do. This approach leads to the second mistake, thinking that your actions caused your father’s abandonment. While it is true that growing up without a father is painful, that does not justify wrongdoing. Nowadays, you can learn, improve yourself as a person, and thrive using tools such as the Internet. The third mistake is when you think you can’t be a good father. Many men became exemplary fathers despite not having known that love in the past.
It’s not about replacing your father
Psychologists have found that when a person grows up without a father, they may develop the need to replace that absence with someone else. It happens more often in women when they have a low level of self-esteem. These women tend to accept any romantic relationship with the sole intention of feeling that they have a man who provides them with the affection and love their father did not give them. If this has happened to you before, or if you are experiencing it right now, you should seek professional help from a psychologist or a non-profit organisation. Statistics show that when a person does not learn to overcome this dependency, their life will be miserable, sad, and painful.